don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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