Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
