dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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