Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
