Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
