can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
whose parrot is this?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
