Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize