i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
