So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize