The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
So squirting runs in the family.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
