she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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