i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
