she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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