I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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