I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
