I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
