I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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