U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
