Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
