yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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