Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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