Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
