i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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