I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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