Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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