your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
