My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
