Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
