She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
