Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
