Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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