wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
