Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
