I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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