My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
