I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
