...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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