She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
