"it" just moved
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Randomize
