The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
