She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
