You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
