He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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