I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize