i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
