Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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