So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
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I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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