So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize