so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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