Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
