I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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