Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
