____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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