so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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