The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize