She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
