Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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