So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
