Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Randomize
