Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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