everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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