I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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