If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
This baby is an asshole
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
